REMEMBER (1 of 365)

After a long hiatus, I am back.  Writing, sharing, doing.  My motivation?  JEALOUSLY.
I really do believe that behind every destructive thought or action is a positive intention.  Even the most hideous.  I watched a few of my friends on FACEBOOK, do their thing.  I had been laying in bed after a day of eating way too much, smoking way too many cigarettes (I know surprise right) and after my 5th pity party of the week I felt a bit like I did at my father's funeral (my current job at the time was driving the mail truck electric cart at UCLA while waiting for acting gigs).  I felt like my father himself was grateful to have passed on because he now had a clear channel.  Through my tears and sadness I heard him say, "What the hell (not sure if he actually used that word) are you doing?  Do you know who you are?"  I felt greatness and destiny passed through me at such a low point in my life.  It is difficult to explain but I felt it.  I felt and feel I have a potential that I have still not lived up to.  And today when that feeling of jealously swarmed through my veins like a fever as I watched my peers sing, perform, write, LIVE out loud I remembered.  I remembered that I must keep believing in myself and my dreams.  That no matter the present challenges that are sitting on my front door I AM and always have been DIVINE.  I remembered that I have a gift that the world needs.  I remembered that I deserve all that I desire.  I remembered that I AM LOVE.  I remembered that I am so blessed and that the great spirit that protects and guides me is really routing for ME.  I was reminded in so many tender and kind and precious ways.  This has been an extremely tough week for a diva.  I am here, re-commiting myself to mySELF and my journey.  Thank you to all who are routing and praying for me.  The blessings fall down on me like manna from above.  I actually receive and feel them.  thank you.


ENCOURAGEMENT: When you have a negative feeling instead of judging or beating yourself up, take a peek underneath their is a lil prize in there for ya.  An insight that is the bright side of your dark cloud.

commitment:  I will write everyday for a year (I didn't say how much!!)