8 of 365

I am doing just a quick note today while I wait for my movie, "Happy Accidents" to load on Netflix.  I'll let you know if it is any good.

A few people disappointed me today.  Which gives me a bit of information about myself.  I am still attached to the outcome of things.  It must take a really evolved person to literally take no emotional downward care if people do or don't do certain things.  I expected my phone ring and it has not.  There is information in this I can see, there is a bit of upset and that I can also see.  I really look forward to the day when I can take in the information that people's action bring with little to no emotional collateral damage.  For some things it seems easy and highly plausible but for others it seems close to impossible.  I won't make any promises as to what I will do when this day comes because it could come sooner than I expect.  Like when I was in junior high, I took it upon myself to read the bible from beginning to end.  I thought this would take a lifetime.  So I made a great and grave pledge to God that once I read the entire bible from beginning to end that I would be ready to meet my Savior face to face and leave this earthly plane.  Okay so when I rounded the corner to Revelations some 7 months later I started only ready a page a day.  And then I was terrified that I would be struck by some random lightening bolt sent from the heavens just for me.  I think I never read the last page.  That was a part of my renegotiating that I blogged about yesterday.  Had to rethink and re speak that one.  I WANT TO LIVE!!!  I WANT TO LEARN GOD, AND BY GOLLY I WANT TO BE HERE!!!!  DO OVER!!  I TAKE THAT ONE BACK!!!  I AM HERE AND I WANT TO BE HERE!!!  Honestly I really thought it would take an entire lifetime to read that book!  It was so interesting and confusing at the same time but I moved right on through.  So as I look to the amazing and seemingly impossible day of having no emotional attachment to other people's behavior I know that I wont make any grand gestures or promises to God about how and when this will occur.  I just know it will.  And not in a resigned or 'whateva' way, in a loving and empowered way and when that way becomes my way, I will simply be grateful and rejoice and maybe blog about it.