Day 4 I think.....

My heart is a two way street. I offer love to others and openly accept love from others.

thought for the day



ummmmmm I had a horribly great day. I was crying in the morning and laughing and joyous by the evening. That's the way of an authentic life I tell. Just allowing myself to be. And forgiving myself and not harrassing myself so much. Someone told me today to not think to hard today and that reminds me of a thing my father used to say when I was getting all riled up over something, in his gruffy husky voice that sounded like a loud whisper he would utter, "hey, hey hey....take it easy sis" Easy on myself has been the call order or the day. Cuz honey I was a hot mess today. The think that annoys me on a bad day is when a countryman hurridly walks in front of me and then starts walking like a snail. I wanna say, "hey you cut me off" Too much energy blown on that. So I went to the Dr. with the translater, just telling all my personal business. Then went to the post office and thought I would be in there maybe 20 minutes because I DIDN'T have a translator. Okay an hour and a half later I wanted a cigarette, then I felt bad for wanting the cigarette. I don't know what is worse the cigarette or the feeling bad about the cigarette. Then I went to Lee's shop to get my hair cut. Mr. Lee said, "Matt you cutting your hair a lot are you stressed out" I said, "YES! HAI!" And literally the day went uphill from there. His shop is located in Roppongi and Ekko his Japanese black girl hair guru (he cuts my hair) are there and people just drop in and it makes me feel at home. Two girls from Nigeria via NY 1 visiting her sister who is a financial analyst now l in Japan came in. Another from England via Guyana who teaches and translates for companies. One from California who teaches at a school. By the end of the night we were old friends laughing and kekeeing it. I could have sat there all night. Like me they are in Japan for different reasons at different times. I felt a comradarie and respect for these women and unspoken closeness that takes place everytime I go to Room 806-Mr. Lee's shop.

Oh this was supposed to be about the fast. I was to eat bananna's and milk for some reason. All I have to say is that saved my life because I was fadin fast honey! I broke down at the shop and had a salad with some parm flakes and 1/2 of the dressing. It was like an IV in my soul. I then went on an amazing boat ride for Brian's birthday. Met a few more journeyman, a girl from Australia who was singing on the boat. And now am back for my last bananna milk shake.

Not eating brings up issues but I can say if they coming up that means they were in there and I am grateful. Better out than in. Like poo.