ACCEPT AND BUILD 44

I had some humble pie and then I turned it around!  Voice lessons are terrible for the ego.  But then again the ego is good for some things and very limiting for others.  For example, it is important to strengthen the weakness in a foundation.  I had surgery in 08 on my chords.  The entire way that I have sung my whole life needs to be deconstructed, a new foundation laid and built again authentically me.  Now when this is happening I feel like I have no idea what I am doing.  I feel naked, I feel afraid and unsure; a vulnerable place for a performer.  My ego says, "We don't need no lessons!  We get paid to sing, you have been the best, you are the best!  We are fine just the way we are!  Look how far we've come Africa, Europe, Asia, North America  if it ain't bro...."
I have to interrupt
"Ego...it is a bit injured, not broke....I want to climb that mountain ego.  I know you are scared but we will be okay.  We have to feel ugly and lost for a bit but I promise...you will shine again..."

And so it goes.  I am in negotiation with different aspects of myself and forging forward.  Past the pain of my voice teacher who condemned me for singing anything but classical music - I have loathed voice teachers ever since and thus thwarted my limitlessness- past the fear of needing to impress and undressing my voice to hear the truth.  What is my true voice when I stop trying to wow and impress with my big notes and heavy sultriness?  Who am I as a singer and am I brave enough to bring forth this new sound?  What will it sound like?  People like what I give now so why change?  Will people like it as much?  What if they hate it?  Again I have to pacify this voice and trust that the truth of my voice will remain intact and accept and build........yeah a creative growth moment. ....yeah