Who you callin a BITCH? 40 OF 365

Inspiration comes in many different forms.  Mine today came from Project Runway.  Gretchen the winner was never my favorite.  I have to say I did enjoy her collection the best which came as a surprise. And during the cast reunion I found respect for her, surprisingly so.  Cast mates called her a bitch. Said she was mean.  She tearfully said that because she is a woman, has an opinion and states it she is harshly judged.  This really stopped me in my footsteps.  I watched the entire season and agreed with many that she was a bit bitchy.  But bitchy in the way that I secretly think I am.  I am outwardly much nicer than she but inwardly have very strong opinions that I have learned to keep inside or only share with certain people.  The old adage about when you dislike something or someone usually it is really some aspect of yourself that you dislike or refuse to take responsibility for holds true for me in my reflection of Gretchen.  I think I was holding this idea, from society and the way I was raised, that to be open about your opinions = meanness especially when your opinion is not a popular or "likable" one.  People said she was mean to other designers and as she defended herself she clarified that she simply had an opinion about them as designers which was different than her feeling of them as a person.  I immediately connected with her and also connected with the idea that me being "nice" might get me just that....the title of "nice".  I am not interested in being mean and don't have mean feelings towards others but think it is high time I stop worrying about such things, whose feelings I hurt, who I alienate and trust that I am a good person and go on with the business of living my life from a place of personal integrity.  I spend way too much time trying not to alienate and making sure everyone feels good, has a good time and is happy.  DONE WITH THAT.