A Simple Truth 118

It's hard to bear all in a blog.  When you know people are reading and can judge you.  When you are not all that you seem.  When you are insecure and not perfect.  I don't HAVE to share my flaws.  So why do I do this?  Why do I show the un-pretty on my journey.  The truth?  I don't know.  What I do know is that I have a need, good or bad, to share my journey.  What I do know is that I don't NEED advice for I possess all the tools I need in this journey and that God is on my side.  What I do know is that my soul has unique lessons to learn and I am sharing my learning.  I should know this stuff and intellectually I do but the human part of my divine essence is flawed, wounded and learning.  Learning to love myself.  Learning from experiences and choices I have made that I can love myself more, respect myself more, and know more.  You don't know something just by understanding it intellectually.  You know it when you know it; mind body and spirit.  This is my life.  I do not love myself enough.  I pause, I hesitate on things that I shouldn't and I forgive myself and love myself anyway.  On this journey to find my beloved I know that I settle and that I must love myself before I seek someone else to love me.  All romantic love is, is a reflection.  But a reflection.  I can't love another or be loved by another in the way that I seek until and unless I love and accept myself.  This is my aim, this is my goal.  damn.