HOLD ON 121

This has been a week of disappointment on all fronts.  A week of blessings on all fronts.  This is the beginning of a Dickens tale!  Superbowl Sunday proved to be a blessing in disguise.  I was feeling neglected and lonely so I didn't feel like having that augmented by hanging with my 'married' friends I thought I wanted to hang with the single folk.  But I was tired so I hung with the married folk; they were closer.  I was so happy I did.  I laughed more than I have laughed all year.  We just communed and shared and it was a blast.  Yeah the game was on but the girls were on one accord, not interested in football.  A superbowl party is about the food and the coming together of friends.  Reminds me of my high school days when my father swore I was not at the game because I had not only no idea of the score but I didn't even know who the home team played.  But I was there.  In our conversation I was given a gift.  One of the 'wives' shared her personal story of love and how she had to stand for what she wanted and her needs were met.  I was inspired and touched by this story and realized I had settled not only in love but in life.  This week I would go for it just a bit more on all fronts.  Ask and ye shall receive was my last post.  Ask for what you want.  A closed mouth don't get fed.  Seek and ye shall find.  Just do it.  Go for it.  YEAH!!!

I auditioned, they loved me and I told them pay me more!!  I took some more risks this week and they all came up empty.  Dang!!!!  I could feel that lil girl in me who wants to go home in a huff with all her toys because others won't play by her rules.  I thought, maybe I asked for too much maybe I should settle.  Settle.  Then I realized this in fact is my defining moment.  The crossroads I have been coming to, the risk that I have been terrified to take.  Hold.  Hold. Hold.  It's scary to let something go because your heart and only your heart and your hopes and a lil dream you had last night is telling you that YOU deserve more, that YOU are more.  But that little dream didn't tell you weather to take that job, or listen to the latest excuse you just heard.  The dream just said; ITS YOU you seek.  So in the disappointment I am taking a big risk.  I want more, I deserve more, I will have more than the meager offerings being presented to me at this present moment.  Pray!