ASK AND YE SHALL RECEIVE NN120

You ever have a dream you just wanted to get back to?

  Last night I was weary.  I posted on FACE BOOK that I was looking to get my inspiration back.  I have been going back and forth about weather to do an audition that would take me away from my mother for 10 months or not.  I have been on the fence about what I need to do to become a 'star'.  I have been fearful of the years coming and going and me not quite yet turning that corner in relationship in family or career.  I am as old as some of my idols and newer younger versions are on the horizon.  Before going to bed I took a sleeping pill and got violently nauseous ran to the bathroom and involuntarily upchucked my day's nutrition.  Exhausted and concerned about getting a full nights rest I got into bed.  Before going to sleep I try to remember my prayers, sometimes I succeed sometimes I do not.  Tonight was success.  I know that God can speak to me when I am still; sometimes asleep.  I set my intention to love myself more and to be open to love.  'To God, guides all the angels that watch over and protect me, my father and other ancestors, I seek love, I seek to love me more and to listen to that love and trust the precious orchestration that has been set forth for me and my life.'  And then I just laid there.  Soon I feel asleep.  And the most amazing vision came.

• At first there were not a lot of people.  It reminded me of the "Black Nativity" project I just completed.  We were in a stadium.  A few of the characters from that show were there.  It was a bit of a theatrical show.  I had a robe, I had a script but the words on the script were eluding me.  It was as if I hadn't done the show in a while and I couldn't remember all the words.  Since I was playing the role of a preacher I thought I can take some words out and improvise a bit, I wasn't that concerned.  It was time, showtime and I wasn't ready but a deeper more profound part of me was pleased that my personality did its thing and did not prepare.  Less interference from God I presume.  I went out to the small crowd in the small stadium.  It was dingy, dark and circular.  I saw a few friends in the crowd and they were yelling in there usual support.  My crew/choir/cast opened and the 'doors' and I emerged and it was on.  A download of information and inspiration came from God and I just started speaking it.  I was unsure at first but I kept going.  I kept looking for the words and I would say a few of them from the script but they were just intro lines to a larger script in the download that was flooding my spirit.  I wish I could remember exactly what I was talking about.  It was something along the lines of remembering who we are.  We took a small break and the director was only slightly concerned that I was not following script.  People were coming.  Carloads of them.  They were coming and I was talking.  He asked me to get back on script and I said okay but I knew my mind was taking in a new script and there wasn't much room in my brain for more.  It was almost erasing what was there with new exciting and inspiring information.  It was just flowing, it was effortless and easy and exciting and all I had to do was open my mouth and obey.  The cast/choir/crew surrounded me I wanted them to hold but they followed the old script and as I emerged the crowd that was about 10-35 had grown to several hundred.  The stadium was filling.  The old friends and supporters in the crowd were still there but so many I didn't know were there to; witnesses.  I wondered for a second if the venue was fancy enough.  But I soon didn't care.  We were in a venue that was in a rustic sort of forest.  Soon the venue started to come alive.  There was food, the vendors appeared and business once stagnent became vibrant.  It was an active place coming alive from all corners.  I then called for a volunteer.  I asked one young man and then another a question.  One young man said he didn't know who he was.  He said in Lynnwood he was a trying to be white to get along even though he wasn't and in the hood where another parent lived he tried to get along there.  Systematically changing himself.  I asked the crowd if they heard him, some did and some did not.  I interpreted his words.  He did not know himself.  He was pleasing everyone but God, everyone but himself.  And I went on and on.  Soon I was in a car with the old script and some lip gloss ( lip gloss inspires me) with a cast member who sort of was my assistant and protegee.  I was dripping the gloss.  We were on our way to another location for some reason to finish my speech it was by no means over......then

I reluctantly woke up.  I wanted to go to sleep again.  I wanted to remember the exact words.  I wanted to know what to do.  This was significant I know.  I felt the spirit of the Lord come over me and I just said Hallelujah.  Now what?..................