Lost in Translation

Okay so I woke up Wednesday morning after visualizing myself on the stage singing and wooing hundreds -after pushing the scary thoughts of me tripping on stage, the audiences hating me for some unknown Japanese custom I unknowingly trample over- with a SORE THROAT.  It was the first notion of 'am I nervous?' that I sorta kind of listened to.  But I didn't feel scared, nervous, I mean yeah the normal regular kind but this is?  Maybe my throat hurt because I have been running around in 100+ weather and sleeping under the air conditioning, because I don't have one of the masks that I see so many people walking about wearing.  Is there some virus I know nothing about?  Some alert I am unable to discern on the news.  They could be yelling, "Everyone hold your breath for 30 seconds or you will catch a cold!"  Whatever it was I opened with a sore throat and a stuffy nose.  

I had Thursday off and stayed in bed with a humidifier on all day.  And performed 3 shows on Friday with an even stuffier nose!  I feel like crap and just don't do the cold thing.  Today, stuffed up on the Disney tram filled with the hustle and bustle of foreign sights and sounds.  I got the first pang of homesickness.  What do you want when you are sick?  I want comfort foods, I wanna turn on some episodes of ANTM or Law and Order, Monk, or American Justice and just wait the cold out.  A quick call to my doctor and a 5 minute ride up Westwood Blvd. to the CVS and my sore throat is a distant memory in the morning.  

When I got off the train, Campbell a guy in the show who is extending his contract to ours, showed me a place he goes to when he is feeling a bit under the weather.   I got some Tokyo Borscht upon his recommendation, and Beef Barley soup.  Took some Alka Seltzer that Kimila, cast member who left for Oklahoma today and am praying for sleep.  Maybe I will download ANTM from iTunes.  I know there is much lost in translation.  

OPENING DAY!

Today I went into the amazingly beautiful Disneyland Sea park with Jayson Holley an amazing dancer in our show.  We met up with a past cast member of Big Band Beat and 4 fans of the show.  Whenever they get a chance they come to see the show.  

I called myself a self stalker because I was in line with the fans for several hours to see the show that I will be opening tomorrow.  But I am so glad I did.  It was the current cast's last show and tears were shed and it was wonderful to witness.  The show is just a great show and their energy was one I would like to maintain every day in my performances.  I aim to walk and sing in the spontaneous joyous energy that I felt today.  

 When the show was over I saw fans -who see the show and then run out to get in line to see the show again- weeping at the loss of their stars.  It was something.  I mean I want to interview some of these fans to find out just what motivates them to come to this particular show everyday 5 times a day.  I almost appreciate my own culture more here because it is appreciated on such a deep level by the precious Japanese.  I saw more adults in the park than children.  They just love the characters that we often take for granted but bought us such joy as children.  Seeing couples walk around with Mickey and Minnie ears and Goofey tees holding hands and waving wildly at Jason, because they got a glimpse of him in the park on his day off.  Maybe it's because it isn't a fabric in the Japanese culture that it is so different and fun and magical that even I really feel transported into a magical world at Disney here in Japan.  Dreams really can come true!  The attention to detail and the pride that every worker has is just something I have never experienced before.  You think, "Ah a job at a theme park".  But this is a major form of entertainment here.  It is actually an honor to be a performer at Disneyland Tokyo and I am learning for it to be an honor for me.  The joy is contagious.  Emotions are, I think; contagious that is.  Why not have one of joy and wonder?  Why the heck not!!!!!

I can't wait to get to the theater and to put on that dress that cost 4K and sing my little heart out!

To Climb or Not to Climb

Well I was unsure and now I am sure because I am here and 8 of the cast members that decided to take the climb left.  

Okay I gotta write more often because I am so on to something else right now!!!

I didn't climb and I am glad I didn't climb.  I have lot's to say about it but ..... oh geez, 

I Ahhhhh!!!

I just ate at this place where they place a pot of boiling water in front of you and you put meat and tofu and vegetables in the water and then eat it.  I said I would never eat with chopsticks but you really do get fuller faster and somehow it is easier to learn to use them.  Plus I don't know how to ask for a fork in Japanese.  When in Rome...  

I think what we ate was called Shabu Shabu.  I ordered Tempura as well.  That was okay, not as good as I remembered.  I am getting fuller faster which is a good thing.  There was so much food left over and the waitress was telling us that we needed to eat more.  I couldn't eat another thing, even though I am munching on the mini snicker bars that Sarah sent me with the cool black sneakers!!!  Thanks Sarah!!!!!

We have rehearsal at 7:45 and I think I am gonna take a Taxi with Chris and Jayson.  I had a bit too much afternoon Saki and it is raining and I am gonna try to get a quick nap in.  

I don't have much to do in rehearsal today, yesterday was my day.  Today will be Lateefah's turn.  I get to sit in the audience for 5 hours.  Glad I have a buzz.  Tomorrow will be Danni's turn and then we have two days off and begin our dress rehearsals.  We open on Wednesday.  The big deal is who will get to open, Danni, Lattefah or myself.  I really don't care.  Yesterday I did, I mean my ego would like to perform first but I don't think in the long run it matters.  Okay so I will put it out there, I would like to perform first!!!! We shall see, I'll keep you posted.  Me and and my ego.  

BTW  I don't really like Shabu Shabu.  It tastes pretty bland!

Just another day in Tokyo

I say I am going to write on here everyday but I feel it may get boring.  Well boring for who?  One of my goals is to complete a book.  Here come some fears, wanna hear?  Well if you are still reading that means YES!  I don't want to hurt any one's feelings so it thwarts my writing style.  I think the things I am reluctant to say are probably the most titillating  things to say, interesting or whatever.  But I don't want to offend.  One of my goals in coming to Japan and getting away from all of my comforts was to NOT recreate them.  Not become a caretaker, unless I am care taking me.  It is hard!!!!  I feel so guilty when I don't do it.  It's an addiction!!!!

Because of my lovely learning at USM I am also aware of some issues within my own psyche that need some attending to.  In the past I was so dagon busy fixing other people I didn't notice the splinter in my own eye.  A big projection I have is with a young lady that will remain nameless.  She is here and gets on my nerves!  For no apparent reason, just her presence irks me.  Everything she does sends me through the roof!  Ever have anyone like that in your life???  Well you know what it means?  You are PROJECTING!  What I am afraid I don't know.  But she just irks the living daylights out of me.  

My birthday

My birthday

(Jason, Me, Leslie and Martine) at the airport

So I remember when I was in Up With People I had my birthday with a new group of people.  Very different.  I believe that I will have the same experience once again.  There was a girlscout saying that I remember it went something like, "make new friends but keep the old, some are silver and the other gold.  

Me and Big Momma!  Yes this is her amazing restaraunt 

I so will miss not spending this special day with my friends and family in the states.  And I hope that the day is a good one for me.  July 29th is the day that I emerged into physica

l form.  I remember as a baby asking my father, "daddy where was I before I was here?"  He would always laugh at me.  He would often say to me, "Sis whatdoya think I did for 33 years before you were born?"  I just don't know, I have never imagined a state of my not being.  

I am prompted to set up some intentions for the coming year.  Ummmmm.  Well, Beck and Dannie (Autralia), Lateefah (guess) are the girls from Big Band Beat.  They organized along with Jason a dancer in the show originally from DC and gathered some cast members old and new from the show and we got together at Monsoon a restaraunt at Disney and we celebrated my birthday.  It was so nice and a bit unexpected.  It felt  bittersweet, so kind to have about 15 people that I have not known more than two weeks come together to celebrate with me.  I felt special, ya know with friends it's like well it is under

stood that you will come together and celebrate.  But the understood were missed and the misunderstood welcomed.  

Chris one of the male singers fr

om NY asked, "Matt do you have any wishes for this year"  I told the group, judging it at first as being a bit corny, that I was reading the Louise Hayes book and that she suggested that all of our dreams and ability to manifest them lie in loving yourself.  If I could have everything I want by loving myself then that's it.  I want to love myself more and more each day.  Love myself into my blessings.  Love myself into an Oscar? W

ell if I believe it possible, believe that I deserve it and the world would be blessed by experiencing me on stage, on screen or via audio waves then I would be getting out of the way so that is my intention for this next year in my life.  To really love, honor, keep and treasure me!!!