Trapezing and such 111 of 365

getting instruction before we jump!

 This was not my idea at all!!!  My soul sister that inspires and encourages me had this amazing idea.  It came in a text.  Let's go trapezing!  Sounded simple enough.  I sort of entered into the idea about taking the trapeze class like a woman going into the hospital to deliver her first child.  Yeah, okay I'm about to have a baby.  Then a couple of hours later you are yelling and screaming in agonizing pain wondering why the heck a watermelon is about to come out of you.  Yeah okay I am gonna fly on Jan. 22 at the Trapeze School of New York.   No biggie.

Many people don't know this about me because I have traveled to every continent in the world with the exception of Antartica and Australia (is Australia a continent?  But I have a great degree of anxiety when flying alone.  I never seem to think about it when I am booking a ticket.  Maybe a bit of stress the night before.  But when I get on that plane.  I have been know to grab strangers, scream out in agony with the slightest bit of turbulence and sweaty palms and a turning stomach have been a to constant non-paying companion on many of my flights.

I started to feel the anxiety when I got to the top of the jump off point.  "What am I doing? What am I trying to prove?  Why exactly did I decide to do this?"  And the fear is not clear to me but it is grand and profound.  I am not a sweaty person but you can see the sweat spots in some of the pictures.  I was terrified.  I had to grab the bar about 5 times.  I kept saying, "I can't!  I can't"  One of the instructors stopped me and said, "Look at me, look at me......you are telling your brain that you can't and you will believe that.  Tell yourself you can and you will"
"But I can't"

"You can and you will"  Somehow I trusted this woman.  I didn't believe I could but I decided to play this little trick on my brain and say, "I can, I can"  I didn't do it convincingly but I kept saying it over and over, not even sure if I believed myself.  Before you know it they yelled, "Hep!"  And I was flying in mid-air.  I was shaking so much and trying to listen to the instructions of when to let go, when to turn myself upside down and all I could do is swing back and forth and release and fall properly.  Before you know it I am up there again.  Call it peer pressure.  But the second time was even scarier than the first because I knew what was coming and I just thought, "Why did I come back?  What was I thinking.  Why the hell am I up here again.  And again I flew, better form than the first but no hanging upside down.

yikes!

I learned so much about myself and my words and the power of my words.  Fake it until you make it is real!!!  Tell yourself you can and you will.  The brain is a sponge.  Learning to control your thoughts, is key to success.  This was an amazing experience.  And I think I will be going back because I know I can swing upside down.  I also will tell myself the things I need to in a much more committed fashion.

free fall rollercoaster ride

second time!  What was I thinking. 

perfect landing

we did it!

and scene!