Throat Update

Well it ain't grand I tell ya.  My throat hurts.  Things in the dressing room are less than optimal and I hate blogging when all is not grand and wonderful.  Well, you want a full experience of my full experience and this is it.  Welcome.  I went to the doctor, AGAIN, on Friday and before I left the office was calling to see if I could come in because one of the girls in the show hurt her foot somehow.  After some back and forth (there are serious details in this but I'm not sure if I should post it here) I went in and was warmly welcomed by all but one of my cast mates.  I can read energy very well.  

The doctor gave me the option to have surgery, NO! Deal with it or spend money for an inebulizer and to be very careful.  So I am singing in a very different way.  This is a bit of a blessing in disguise.  One of my creative goals was to really stretch myself and to move out of my creative comfort zone so that I could grow musically.  Many years ago a voice teacher tried to convince me that I was not an alto but a lyric soprano.  Now this is hilarious to me because I have, on more than one occasion, been called "Sir" by a telemarketer or bill collector.  With this injury I am forced to sing from a lighter more vulnerable place.  From the warm-ups and work I have been doing I have found a new sound.  Amazing, and a silver lining in all of this.  

Fibroids, Indometriosis, Polyps, lumps all in one year.  A blessing that it is nothing more but reality that I am getting old???  Not taking care of myself?  Or both maybe.  

I am learning a bit more Japanese every day, getting to know some of the Japanese dancers but something is missing.  I haven't found my mojo here yet.  I love it, yes and think this is where I am to be right now but I am not yet here, if that makes any sense.  It's funny how at home I feel in a foreign place.  I don't feel like a stranger here or to anyone really.  Maybe it is because of the way I was raised.  Travelling, meeting new people and always in a new social setting or situation.  But I am looking for something and I fear I am looking outside myself for something that is not outside of myself.  It is not in a job or a situation but "it" resides within me.  A bit of loving discipline seems to be in order.