Small annoyances.

There is a beautiful talented young lady talking right now and I really want her to shut her face. I have decided to be a bit more authentic and I think that was a good start. She is talking and I am writing and she is continuing to talk to me. I don't think it matters to her that I am writing. Interesting.

So I am making the commitment to write. I want to write and I don't want to write. I don't feel like writing and I don't have anything Japanesey to write about other than annoyances. Like my momma said, "If you don't have nothin nice to say don't say anything at all!!" But then this blog wouldn't be interesting.

Okay Asians are spatially impaired I believe. I mean I am sure there are certain gifts and handicaps that each ethnic group has and as an American not really putting my self into an ethnic group for this one, it is highly annoying. So I am walking along to the train station and someone will cut me off walking directly in front of me. Okay like this happens in NY all the time. This is where the two worlds diverge. They walk in front of me and then just stop to look at something that catches there attention or to finish a text or just to lolly gag around in front of me at a snails pace!!!!!! It's like running to catch up to someone to pass them and then you stop as SOON as you get in front of them so that they will rear end you!

Then at the grocery store. A family will take up the entire isle. Kids spread all over the isle, parents discussing what must be the cosmic revolution. I am trying to be polite here. I know they see my black ass. I am a bit of an anomaly being a black woman in Japan and all and still nothing-no move to the side- no "sumimasen" (excuse me) or "gomenasi" (sorry) except maybe some gaping stares from the kids. I wanna yell, "move the hell out of the damn isle!!!! You see me here with this cart trying to shop to! I mean do you have to take up the whole isle? This ain't yo living room!!"

People say Asians can't drive. I mean there are some who can but as a whole there does seem to be some spacial awareness differences that play into the whole driving thing. I have been doing some research and have found that there are a few studies that site the differences in spacial awareness and that Asians do have a bit of tunnel vision. Maybe that is why the technology is so advanced but why it takes 10 people 1 week to make a decision about a shift change at work. I'm just sayin. Common sense is not common to all people in all places. Another reason could be from over population. I don't know and usually I don't care but lately just a bit annoying.

This happens at least 10 times a day to me. And instead of feeling victimized-I know it is not personal- i wrote about it. Whew. That feels better. It was really beginning to build up!!

This is a video my friend and fellow tapper in the Big Band Beat show did highlighting our Christmas in Japan. I realized this was my first Christmas spent out of the United States and away from all my friends and family. I think it has some of the flavors of Japan in it!! Enjoy

funny

I received two plants when I had surgery last November. It was interesting because within a week one of the plants was dying. I made the assumption that because this plant was dying that meant that the friendship that seemed to be forging between myself and the giver of this plant therefore was not real. To me this was a symbol. The other flower flourished and I took that as a sign that this relationship to, would flourish. Funny thing is that I didn't particularly care for the flourishing flower friend as I did for the dying flower friend. But the flourishing flower friend was nicer to me. I think I will keep these names. They sound like Indian names. Flourishing Flower and Dying Flower. But a flourishing flower could possibly be the one dying and the dying one going through a metamorphosis. Are ya with me? I mean I woke up with the name Gyver for a child and this. This is all I got this morning!!!

Okay so as time went on I noticed that the Dying Flower friend was trying to be my friend but I didn't trust it, don't trust her but I want to. Something just doesn't seem completely sincere about Dying Flower. But I genuinely like Dying Flower. I see her beauty and brilliance despite the presence of flaws. She is like a diamond in the rough. Well as life would have it. The flourishing flower died. And once the dead flowers fell off the Dying Flower it is a beautiful green plant.
Go figure.

Christmas in Japan

Well since most of the country is either Shinto or Buddhist, Christmas is celebrated only in the Santa Clause kinda way. I have a doctor's appointment with the surgeon at 12:30. And the country is basically running business as usual. I am off so that is good but I have no christmas decorations up and won't be cooking. Part of our cast is going to a Brazilian resteraunt to celebrate together and that should be nice. Today was my last performance in the Christmas show. It was amazing about the best Christmas show I have ever seen in my life. I really believe this show is as good as the Radio City Music Hall's Christmas Celebration. I wish everyone could see it, it really gets you in the spirit. Problem? When I get off stage I am so in a hurry to get that dress off and my sweats on I don't know what to do. So it is like me playing at Christmas instead of really being into the Christmas spirit itself. Oh well. Merry Christmas. One thing is for sure it is cold as ........!

Our Deepest Fear

The following is a poem from author Marianne Williams, I think it is from her book "Return to Love"

Nelson Mandela quoted this in his inaugural speech. I think it is quite amazing. I would love to hear what this poem speaks to you, if anything. Comment below in the comment box. This poem changed my life.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

All these pills

I have a cold!

I'm like can't u put these all in one pill? I know u can, this is the god-mother of all things wise.....why so many pills!!!!
1:15 AM

1 for stuffy 2 for phlegm 3 for cough
1:15 AM

4 anti-inflamitory
1:16 AM

5 anti-inflamm
1:16 AM

6 antibiotic
1:16 AM

7 protect the lining of my stomach from 1-6!!!!!!

The Book

The truth of the matter is, there are some things I can't or won't say on this blog and this makes me sad. Freedom of speech is a right but in this country I am afraid that this is not so. This inspires me to infer things more or less and write a book! I got more to say but it just doesn't feel right. Now I think I should have started this blog anonymously. I am wondering how many people out there feel censored in their lives. How many times, because common sense tells us, shut ourselves down, opt NOT to say something for fear of loosing friendships, jobs or what have you. The truth shall set you free but they also say, truth hurts and that no one wants to hear the truth.

It reminds me of a story. The names shall remain nameless - can I say that?- lets just say that a friend of mine met a guy. She told me about how much of a gentleman he was, it was like a dream. I vicariously lived through her as she recounted the intimate dates she had with him. She lived in Jersey and he would always take her on dates in Philly. He would always pay the toll for her, park her car and his apartment would always be adorned with candles and small little gifts of chocolate and sweetness for her. She had mentioned his name many times to me and I never paid it much attention until, one day, I heard the name. An unusual name, and I realized that I knew this name but thought it could be a coincidence. More than two people could have the name Fukaro right? Wrong. I said, "Wait a minute, what did you say his name was?", and it all came back to me. I started asking questions, "Is he from the Ivory Coast?"
"Yes"
"Does he have a mark above his left eye?"
"Yes! You know him?"
"Uhhhh....." was my response, "I think I was at his wedding..." My father married this guy who was from another country to the daughter of close family friends. I remember the wedding well. I felt that he looked lingeringly into my eyes, but I just brushed it off as him being fine as hell and me wanting a fairytale wedding like the one I'd just witnessed. They looked so happy and in love. What I remember most is how much money her parents spent on the wedding. I think it was something like 30K, and they gave them the down payment on a house. Now is the same guy courting my friend less than a year later? We had to investigate. I called the Jones's and asked them if the wedding pictures were ready and told the that I wanted to drive around the corner to see them. I picked up Mary my friend that was dating Fukaro who lived only 2 streets over from the Jones family. Cindy, Fukaro's wife, happened to be there and Mary and I decided that we were going to tell them that she was making a big mistake and to get out of the marriage fast!

My mother warned me against it, " You will be the enemy...you'd better mind your own business... a lot of people like to kill the messenger" But Mary and I knew better. We knew that we would wanna know if it were us and Mary really didn't believe it was her Fukaro. Maybe he had a twin. We knocked on the door, and Mrs. Jones and Cindy were so happy that I wanted to see the pictures they opened the door like two little school-girls. I introduced my friend Mary and they offered us hot chocolate and warm brownies. As we looked at the pictures, Cindy bragged, "Yeah most girls put up with so much, but I waited for the right guy! You guys don't let the guys fool you! You set your standards high and stick to them" Mary's eyes welled with tears as I knew she recognized that this, indeed, was her Fukaro. Our eyes met and we decided that maybe my mother was right and we held on to our bit of truth. They were still married, happily. But he had another apartment and he entertained women there.

I wanna take a poll. What would you have done in this situation? Would you have told, Or kept your silence?
Comment so you can all see the different opinions. I am interested to know. Is truth relative?