224 Today I'm Remembering Daddy

My dad passed, transitioned, whatever you want to call it, six years ago today.  I was having a little resistance celebrating this fact with my family members today.  My aunt is the gatekeeper for our family.  At 80 when she 'transitions' what will happen?  When I told her I didn't think I could make it she replied, "please..." and my heart melted.  In the melting process some sadness for my daddy seeped in.  I found myself crying sitting in the second pew of the church that he and his brothers and sisters grew up in.  I looked around at all the reminders of him, his two grand-nephews were the light torch boys (can't remember the word), nieces singing in the the choir.  I motioned to my cousin Rhonda who is a trustee and rock of the church for a tissue. "You got a stuffy nose?"  I poked my lip out.  Daddy was all around yet missing.  My mother stood up to give greetings and seemed particularly playful.  Not a usual characteristic of hers. My father was the jester of the two.  He took unusual joy in embarrassing his family members at events like this.  At one "Rochester Church Day" in his yearly introduction of 10 brothers and sisters and their children and children's children, he mused at a 'new' cousin.  "Oh you a new one!" As the church rustled and cousins looked around at the offspring of a brothers discretion that was being introduced to the church at the same time they were being introduced to the family.  Or he would have me stand and make some snide comment about how he was taking applications for duly employed sons or nephews of church members on my behalf.   My mother stood a little unsteady at first and leaned on the pew in front of her for support.  She started with, "I am the former widow of Bishop Enoch B Rochester" 'Former widow?' I watched her and wondered what would emerge from her lips next.  She went on talking about how she loved the church that had raised her husband and how kind they were and what she said next had me awestruck.  "...And this is my daughter and she needs a husband, so if anyone can help...."  The church erupted in laughter as I shook my head.  My father somehow managed to take hold of my mothers mouth and give a dig to me to let me know, he is and always will be with me.  

223 MY PRAYER

Now I lay me down to sleep...I pray my over 1,000 'friends' on facebook take a few moments out of there busy lives to vote for an opportunity for me to be on Mad Men.  I also pray that they don't just click the link that says "like" because that doesn't mean that they have voted.  I pray that they follow the directions and sign in on the link in the upper hand left hand corner and then go back to the link and click VOTE under my angelic photo. Amen

it's easy to VOTE:

1) Click onto the linkhttp://madmencastingcall.amctv.com/browse/detail/3cffa8e3f990c15461f29e61b86163678b873d63

2) Go to LOGIN [in the top right corner of the page]

3) Register to vote by clicking the facebook symbol

4) Then go to to the VOTE Button under my picture.

222

I cooked some amazing peanut stew and curry chicken today.  It felt good to have friends over to commune.  I still have lots to do.  Mood:  pensive

221

it was a good day and I'm still doing my morning pages.  went out, always meet amazing people when I go out.

220 of 365 WRITERS RETREAT

I had an AMAZING weekend.  Haven't had one like this in a LONG time.  My time was spent writing for 12 hours (not all writing) with an amazing artist named April Yvette Thompson.  She is patient, clear and actually helped me in places that I need help.  I learned from mistakes in fear that I made and I, for the first time in a long time, could actually hold the vision that I will publish a book one day soon.  I saw a possible path; a way.  I have always known my stories are rich and insatiable but beyond my friends and the few people I meet on my path I have never felt diciplined enough or organized enough to bring my stories to a larger audience; the world.  She made this possible.  We all know that we need to hold a positive intention, focus or attitude.  What I also know is that in those intention we must also hold a place for the angels in human form who make it a part of their larger vision to assist others along the way, ya know like pay it forward type stuff.  I am grateful that I took the time to nourish myself this weekend.  I will be able to nourish others.  Got to put my mask on first (if you fly you know what I'm talkin bout)

219 of 365 Seeking Success

‎"The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek." - Joseph Campbell


This is an interesting statement.  I have been told over and over that I am funny.  Doing stand up is such a frightening endeavor.  What I am learning is that by facing that fear I may indeed be finding that which I ultimately seek.  This statement reminded me of this fact and I am grateful.  


Tomorrow I begin a silent two day writing endeavor.  With so many brilliant ideas surging through me this will give me an opportunity to silence the lambs and focus on birthing one so that I can make room for the many other ideas that are begging for life.  I need a mid-wife!!!  lol!!  I am very excited and cant wait to see what God decides will come forward in the next two days.  

218 of 365 Finally

I finally have an audition that I am excited about.  Part of working as an actor is, well, WORKING.  Not all of the jobs are fun, they are creative and exciting in the way that you are getting paid to do something you love doing BUT I have been longing for a project that makes me excited.  I have not booked the job yet but the prospect of the job is so exciting.  It is fun, about relationship, and the dates and times work and are a perfect fit for my life right now.  The money could be better but I am excited to sink my teeth into this one.  I am also excited that I am taking a 2 day, SILENT writing retreat. AND I am getting tested tomorrow for ADHD.  People have joked with me saying I have ADD and I finally decided to check it out.  I don't actually think I have ADD but boy I would love to finish my book. FOCUS!  Finally some movement!