217 of 365 Are you there Vodka....?

I am in LOVE with this book.  If anyone hasn't noticed I have been in a bit of a huff.  In my intention to live a joy filled life I decided that AFTER my pity party (gotta have a pity party) I would read last night.  I bout the book at the airport over a month ago and started reading in earnest last night.  I decided that I had enough of the self help books that I love so much but never seem to finish and opted for some idiot relief.  And what a genius of an idiot she is.  I literally laughed out loud on the train today while reading it.  She is brilliantly funny and laughter is so healing.  It moves your energy straight up!!!!
In ancient greece they considered humor to be a "gift from God"  and what a joyous gift it is.  Made my day for sure.

The audition went great.  I was asked to read for another part, which made me very happy. The casting director said my read was "perfection"  which means absolutely nothing in the casting world but it was better to hear that than "what the heck were you thinking"  So it was a good day.  And I laughed.  A LOT.  THANKS CHELSEA

216 of 365

Soooooooo.  I have an audition tomorrow and for the first time in a while I am NOT that excited about it.  I have not booked anything in a couple of months and I just am not amped about it.  I wouldn't mind booking it but I don't have the energy to invest and then get the ole let down.  I will go, do my best and forget about it.  I just don't have the energy to care.  And I hate jobs that have me as some old ass servant to someone else. It is a brilliant piece of literature and an opportunity to do what I love so, I'll show up.  High involvement with low attachment to the outcome.  That's what they say, well I have low involvement and low attachment to the outcome.

btw, I am watching Celebrity rehab and it is stressing me out.  Michael Lohan is stressing me, I am about to have a heart condition.  This is too much.  WAtching out of control people is stressful.  

215 of 365

Okay, so I am learning some things about myself.  And rant begins NOW
I CAN'T STAND people who DON'T LISTEN and try to pull attention in class.  It urks my nerves.  They say when you are "upset because...." it is an uncovered personal issue.  When I follow this thought and ask why this bothers me...wait also, while I'm at it, I can't stand when people make spiritual statements that are condesending and full of judgement and opinion and guised in esoteric spiritual prose.....okay back to why.  Why do these things bother me?  Because they feel manipulative.  I got issues with people manipulating (has happened) or trying to manipulate me or others.  It actually enrages me.  I should be more specific but I am a punk...read the book....
I am taking a writers retreat sat-sun and hopefully the book will be coming along.

I will pick up the stand up tape but I think I look God awfully fat so I am not sure I will post it.

I have not been serious about my quest for true-love and marraige.  I have had too many detours and the birthdays keep coming.

I am not happy with my career and think I need to do something BIG but don't know exactly what.  I know I need to shake it up a bit.  I don't promote myself, follow up with cards and letters and I don't go to events and networking opportunites.  I was inspired when I watched the Katie Perry true Hollywood story.  That girl has drive and passion.  I have been at this acting game and love game all my life.  I have failed for over the past 20 years at both. That is more than half my life.  Boy am I determined.

I have been proposed to in the most insulting and unromantic way.....and I considered it.....sheesh...where is the love?

I am sick of people that I wouldn't EVER consider getting the courage to confess there love.  Where is the REAL love.  I am so sick of excuses and drama I find it hard to go out at all.  I am over bars, clubs, parties and social events.  They BORE me.  People BORE me.

I don't miss Japan anymore.  I am thinking about moving to Australia and seeing what the acting scene is like there. I like myself when I travel.  I want to merge the traveling me with the now living in the United States me.

I think that's my truth for the day.   Thanks for listening.  

214

So last night I went out to Serefina with two friends and we met FBI agents!  The best part?  They were human.  I imagined guys like this to be cold and narrow minded in scope, almost roboty, but they were wise, grounded and had such a human feel and there conversation was filled with insight and heart.  It did my soul good, I felt protected in the world.  

213

zumba, lost 1.4 pounds, made two important phone calls.

212

My first day of rest all month and I feel guilty!!!!! Yikes!!!  I rip and run and rip and run and I did nothing today and felt pretty bad about it.  Well I did go to a zumba class, grocery store, juiced and fixed dinner and made a few phone calls and paid a few bills.  But it felt like nothing because there is so much MORE to do.  Books to read, ideas to jot down, projects to finish, people to thank and make contact with, an office to organize, people to call back, appointments to make, so much to do.  So much to do. 

211

I have been informed that I AM SLIPPIN!!!  And I must admit I am!

July 22-29 Houston Texas
July 29th My Birthday and a rainstorm that had our power out for 3 days!!
July 30 MY FIRST! Standup performance and Carolines on Broadway.  A thrilling 5 minutes I must say.  I made a video but I look very fat so I am not sure I will post it.